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Peace on earth ...good will to all men.....all the pv ladies under the mistletoe.....and a free premium membership please

I was gonna give myself away for Christmas, wrap a big red bow around my bits and sit naked under the tree for you ladies.

I ran into a few problems with that plan, once I looked at how endowed I was, I realized ribbon wasn't going to work, and they don't make dental floss in a true red color, more of a pink. And then the dead pine needles kept falling off the tree and between my legs, and I couldn't figure out which of the little tiny things laying down there I was supposed to tie the bow around.....