Funny old limericks   Reply to topic

Today is International Nurses day and Limerick Day. I'll kick off with one and if any of you enjoy limericks and want to add your own or ones you've heard over the years, go for it ...

I was a young reckless fool
every nurse would entice me to drool
my constant erection
and sex-crazed connection
expelled me from medical school!

Here is an old limerick my dad told me a long time ago.

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
He hit a rock, split his cock
and pissed all over the crew.

I've got an old Andrew Dice Clay Limerick............

Hickory Dickory Dock
Some bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dumped my goo
And dropped her off at the next block

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it,
As the said with a grin
As he wiped of his chin,
If my nose was a cunt,
I would fuck it

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

Little jack horner sat in the corner eating a pizza pie
He shit pepperoni
Blew his friend tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie

Mary had a little sheep, with the sheep she did sleep, the sheep turned out to be a Ram, Mary had a little lamb:)

Not a limerick here more like a joke:

Trump - Clinton
Clinton - Trump

A JOKE

Another old Andrew Dice Clay one

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with 2.50
That fucking whore

There once was a barmaid named Gale
On whose breasts was the menu for ale
But since she was kind
For the sake of the blind
On her ass it was printed in Braille