Conflicted   Reply to topic

Sorry to be a burden, but I thought if I threw this out there some of you would have some good thoughts for me. Please don't scold me, I have had enough of that already. One thing I have learned reading the forums the last few days is that we all have different things that we value.

When I was new at this, I was always planning new pics and posting new sets, and it was mostly fun. I realy enjoyed it. I loved the comments and the messages and posts back and forth with the guys and gals. I am really into sports and at first the scores even intrigued me. I am competitive! Then, I became old news (and old!) and things slowed up. I learned the scores aren't always what they appear, a large number of guys love the fake pro models or stolen pics more than they love the real ones, and other such posting realities. Also, my comments declined a bunch, although some of you have always been there for me every post, and I love you for it. I also got sick last year and other things that weren't good happened, which is life at times. Bottom line is I quit feeling very sexy.

I tried to just quit. Here is my problem. I miss the good parts, but I don't know how to deal with the parts that I can't control. I miss taking pics and my comments, even if there aren't as many as there used to be. I don't do badly for being just an average middle age gal, but I don't do great. One thing I thought I did well was facials, then I found out my gal pals and even old Pink think I am groaty because I like doing them. Dang!! Something I thought I was good at too!! I miss being on the front page, I miss being an All Star, and all those other things. But I want to get over it, I just don't know how.

I wanted to post in the BJ contest but then I decided not to because of some of the things I just mentioned. See, I am conflicted. I'm not used to this. I am very decisive and not emotional at all at my job.

Sorry to write such a long boring essay, but I was recently attacked by some members and even a few former friends who gave me a hard time when I posted because new pics because I said I was going to retire from it and I didn't. I felt really bad about that, so I decided to write this so some of you would know my thoughts and conflicts, and just to help myself think it through.

I think you forum guys and gals are great.

Marie, what I love about you is you say what you think and you're still my friend. Thank you for taking the time out to write your thoughts. I value your insight so much! And you make a lot of great points, like always. I admit I was sad when I read about you and Browneyes maybe not posting anymore. That is one of the things that made me think a lot about this post. I think it's good to take account of where you are along the road sometimes to make sure you are still on the right road. I, of course, am selfish and always want you to post!

You know what hollie, I find it absolutely amazing that the majority of men come here only to look at the PICS, yet they can't take 2 minutes to write a comment for the woman they are looking at. When you look at some of the more popular posts the number of viewers is 400,000+, yet the number of comments average about 100 or so. And let's not forget those that cam, they are lucky if 1 or 2 people leave them a profile comment. Everyone wants to look but tooooo many can't be bothered to thank those that are putting themselves out there, both male & female.

There are quite a few of us who try to mix things up & make our posts fun. Deciding what to wear, or not wear, trying like hell to get the right shots & trying to give those that do comment what they want to see. I sit here & laugh when I see the same guys going crazy over the young "models" posts. Really guys, you can't tell that they are the SAME pics recycled for the next post.

On the other hand, there is a great group of guys who actually prefer us "real" amateurs & appreciate what we go thru to get our pics taken. Unfortunately, if all we focus on are the numbers, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Many of the guys who leave comments, don't even vote. They have given up on a system that many here consider to be very flawed.

When you look at a post of a young "model" who barely shows a tit & yet scores upwards of 9 & then look at a post of someone who has ALL out there for the world to see & barely scores a 6 or 7, you might as well give up. As you said hollie, there are things WE cannot control, & the biggest thing is the scoring!

I know it is hard for some people, both male & female, to get past the scoring & the occassional nasty comments. BUT, if you can't post just because it is something you enjoy, then I say don't do it. We all have enough stress in our "real" lives without adding to it by comparing ourselves to what gets posted here. And REALLY, can we all be assured that these pics aren't photoshopped??? NO WE CAN'T.

I have to say it really pisses me off when I see people put themselves down in their own posts. I'm tired of seeing comments like "I know I'm too old or too fat", "I know I can't compete with the young girls but...", "I know my cock is small", etc.

Again, post because YOU ENJOY IT!!!! Post what YOU want to post. There are always going to be people who don't like something they see. But, you know what, WHO CARES!!!! And if they have to prove that they are a jackass by leaving a nasty comment, IGNORE IT!!! Does it make one less SEXY because some loser hiding behind his keyboard says he didn't like what you posted? NO IT DOESN'T!!!

Being SEXY isn't about one's hair color, age, body type, tit size, cock size or being shaved or natural. It's not about how many comments or views our posts get. It CERTAINLY isn't about the score! It's all about CONFIDENCE & ATTITUDE!!!
It's about having FUN!!! If you let all the other crap take over the equation, the FUN gets trampled, BIG TIME!!!

Tooooooo many people have stopped posting & camming because of the scoring, contests & comments. WHY let others spoil our fun?????

OMG marie, I got the same response from people. Many think I stopped because of the contests. But, like you, I could care less about them. I know I am very outspoken about things on here, but everything I comment on as far as the contests, posts, all stars & the homepage are general about the site. They have nothing to do with me personally. A lot of it is based on what I read or talk about with other people.

Like the two of you, I enjoy taking the pics. However, after getting hurt trying to take another set, I decided to stop for a while. Most of you just don't understand how hard it is for those of us who take our own pictures to get the perfect picture. I don't like anything identifiable in my pics, so it makes it very hard when I can't see what is in frame. It makes it very time consuming. It wasn't fun anymore, so I decided to stop for a while.

Maybe they should do away with the voting (or let it count for like a third of the total score) and get some judges like at regular contest. Also make some criteria for the judging, ya know?

hi everyone :)

no surprizes here holliebaby! we ALL know real life sucks!

dis iz one of our oasis to not THINK about it escape 4 a few..., yet we can't run away.
yesterday we had a bomb threat at work, i'm waiting on needles & pins to hear how our fellow member FRANNI's cancer surgery went 4 days ago, somebody kidnapped one of my beloved cats a week ago, marie helped me thru a devastating life crises last yr, etc, etc, etc. try not to sweat the small stuff...

my input is the same as it was when U told me U were "retiring".
i told U that U've already given anatomy lessons and don't owe anybody ANYTHING!
but it would still be fun to see wot U choose to wear to work or shopping or wot cute thingie U wear 4 Ur ole goat! Ur class is part of Ur charm.
U don't havta be nekkid to model a cute profile & share a smile with us.

honestly? i'm VERY self-concious about aging, i'm a shadow of my former self! it's humiliating. thank GAWD sum wimmen think that penis-pumps R CUTE!

i think people R pulling my leg when they ask 4 a pic of me.
i can't imagine the NERVE it takes 4 a woman to pose nervously as she grows into an age we were all taught to believe is "over-the-hill"! wot it tells me is that she has someone that ADORES her & she trusts his judgement...that alone cheers me up!

i LUV watching couples grow as models/photographers together....!

U'll hafta forgive us 4 enjoying the young honeys as they grow into real women.
mentally, we forget wot the picture in the mirror shows...

it let's us day dream about the cheerleader or homecoming queen we never got a shot to date because we didn't have a car or weren't the quarterback & NOW we get to see her naked. yippie!!! FINALLY!

U women don't realize the hurts U gave us when we were young. it's not easy for a boy 2 walk across the gym floor 2 ask a girl for a dance only 2 B told "NO" cause he's not the guy SHE wanted to ask her...we hafta wlk back across the floor with EVERYBODY knowing we were just turned down. (how long woulda one lousy dance taken??? U wimmin couldn't gulp & give us ONE stinking dance!???)

where-the-hell do U THINK sum of the misdirected anger comes from???

everbody doesn't have the same self-control or understanding. when anonymous...even better! sadly U models R sometimes, unfairly the targets for sum of that suppressed anger.

is this even a LITTLE bit helpful???
(i KNOW! i'm so F*N CUTE when i pretend i know wot i'm talkin about!! :)

Hollie, each time you post think of it as just posting for your close friends in PV ONLY!!! It's your bunch of close friends and admirers who will give encouraging comments and support. The rest are bonus. I hope you'll continue to post even sporadically!!! I can assure you that there's a bunch of mature lovers out there who still find you sexy and desirable!!!


Hey BV, so you wanna kick my ass to the great barrier reef to feed the sharks for disagreeing with you??? Wait till you see my RABBIT kungfu, you'll think twice!!! lol!!! If you get ppl to agree with you all the time then you've got a brainless sidekick!!! But when one disagree with you on some issues and then point out to you the repercussions, then you've got a TRUE friend!!!


Funstuff, I suggest that PV let the PREMIUM MEMBERS ONLY to vote and decide the winners by adding the total score...the highest is the winner and so on. All posts should start at zero...level playng field!!! If non members are allowed to vote, then there'll be cheating coz anyone can create any number of free account. PV definitely have a flawed scoring system that causes a lot of anguish. For example, if I vote 1 point, instead of adding that point PV subtract points from that post. This gives me a chance to sabotage posts of those I do not like...and that is exactly what is going on here when you see scores going ding dong!!! I hope PV will take my suggestion into consideration as I'm sure alot of people will agree that this is the most transparent method & the losers won't feel sore!!!

Hollie babe, who gives a flying fuck about what people think. You'll never please everyone, might as well please yourself. You should be posting because YOU enjoy it, not worrying if a handful of people might not like the subject matter. If you enjoy a face full of spluge, then go for it. For every one person that dislikes it, there will probably be two that are into it. Ignore the negatives and focus on the positives. Ole hangin and my views are so in line its scary, a long lost Brother perhaps? I prefer the older ladies, first section I hit is the MILF, hoping to see some well seasoned skin and beautiful older women. The 20 somethings do nothing for me anymore, maybe because I have kids in that age group and feel guilty? Don't know, but I do know I have always, and still do, enjoy your posts. You are a very attactive and sexy woman with NOTHING to be ashamed of. If it feels good, do it. Just don't let it become a burden to you. If the joy is gone, its time to quit. If that happens you will be greatly missed by me and I'm sure alot others.

Hollie I think the bottom line is......This is suppose to be fun. If you enjoy posting pics then do it. I wouldn't let all those other things spoil that for you. Some of us always think it's a treat when you do post.

As far as the facial thing. I have absolutely no problem that it's something your into...In fact it's hot on your contributions. It's just not something that I normally do.

As I looked at the responses to my question this morning, I realize what keeps drawing me back to PV is you guys. It is no secret I have posted on other sites. Some of you find me there and you have no idea how great that makes me feel when one of my special PV friends comments on me no matter where I am at. But this always feels like home. Thats why when I did my shoot with Sassy last year we agreed that I would post some of them here and she would post some of them elswwhere. We did that shoot and we were so excited to give that to the two sites that meant the most to us, then PV wouldn't let me post her on here because of things between them I had nothing to do with, even though I had her written permission to do so, so I was completely out of luck and the owner of the other site got jealous and posted her own G/G pics the same weeks (we got twice as many comments!). We had hundreds of comments there, they kept deleting them, and we never even made the top 20 even though it seems like everywhere I am at on the net people have seen those. I admit that episode really bummed me out about all of this, along the things I talked about. The people who own these sites sometimes don't seem to understand good business, and as a businesswoman I guess I don't get that.

You guys are right, I should post if it's fun to post. If its not fun I shouldn't. Right now it seems like its not as much fun because of the things I can't control, so maybe I have my answer. I still think I'll post in that BJ contest though, I am pretty good at those!! And yes, there will be facials, especially if I know you all still like me in the morning!!! (And Ed, if you are reading this, you know I still love you so don't ban me!! But I still think you blew it big time not posting my Sassy pics here. Now I promise I will never speak of them again!!!).

Thanks guys, you are the best!!
Love, Hollie